Secret Base Reviews: Still Using an iPhone 6

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Stickin’ it to Corporate America vs Having a Good Phone

I still use an iPhone 6. I think my decision not to upgrade is the right one, mostly because I don’t admit mistakes or wrongdoings (high self esteem). But there comes a time in everyone’s life when they need to examine if they’re doing themselves a disservice by not upgrading their phone for five years running. Let’s review: Still Using an iPhone 6

Pros

I have a headphone jack

The removal of the headphone jack in the newer phones is total bullshit. Apple is defining what an upgrade is (bluetooth headphones) and forcing you to agree. What if I like corded headphones because they’re harder to lose and the cord gives me something to fidget with? Oh then I just have to buy an adaptor, from, you guessed it: Apple. Big tech is always trying to screw ya. But not me.

Saves money

This ones obvious, but let’s not breeze past it. Because there’s more than just a saved $300 in my pocket as I refuse to buy a new phone. There’s the smug sense of satisfaction that everyone else has wasted money because they aren’t as good as me. I’m not some effete member of the Bourgeoisie, I’m a scrappy lil survivor.

Feel like I’m pulling one over on Apple

Lotta reasons to be smug when you’re still using an iPhone 6.

Don’t have to be careful with it

A new one is more shatterproof and more waterproof, but guess what? You still have to treat it like it’s a fragile object. My old 6 that’s already all cracked up? I can toss this baby around.

It’s on borrowed time, I’ve already won. If I toss it onto the bed and it bounces off and finally completely breaks, then I get to get myself a present; a new phone. Not the end of the world!

Cons

Slow

There are a few instances where I’ve needed a faster phone. Say I want to download a podcast real quick before I lose service on the subway, or I want to look up a trivia answer before anyone sees. That kind of activity is impossible for me.

Battery life is not great

Sometimes, within one second, the battery drops from like 30 percent to “your phone is off now”.

Can’t download all the Apps I want to download

Because I believe Apple practices planned obsolescence, I’m sure a newer iOS would slow down, or possibly explode, my phone. Thus, I do not update my iOS, thus there are a bunch of apps I can’t download, most recently:

  • Audible — I signed up for my free trial of the audiobook app Audible, only to realize it needs a more current iOS. I can’t download it, and I’ve wasted my free trial
  • Home Court — I want to play this ai basketball app, but I can’t download it. A bummer. There is a small silver lining in that I get to think “maybe I’d be on the leaderboard” without the threat of reality ever shattering my hubris.

Phone basically doesn’t work if it’s too cold outside

If it’s winter and I’m outside for ten minutes the battery will die, even if it started at 100 percent. I can remedy this problem by keeping the phone in a pocket against my body instead of in my coat pocket or bag. My body heat keeps the phone alive, like it’s a human with hypothermia I just rescued from a frozen lake. The remedy is not ideal because I can’t easily access, or use, the phone, but at least when I get back inside it’s not totally dead.

Camera Quality

I would like a better camera to take better pictures of my dog. This is what makes me think I might be making a mistake.


It’s not easy to critique ourselves, and I think I’ve done an excellent job.

Still using an iPhone 6 gets a

5

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