Just got off the phone with Chief. This ain’t it.
In the latest episode of his YouTube series “How Hungry Are You?,” Toronto Raptors forward Serge Ibaka brought All-NBA teammate Kawhi Leonard onto the show. On a previous episode, he made the Raptors’ bench mob eat lamb brain.
But an All-NBA player has and All-NBA appetite, so Ibaka pulled out something magical. He served his teammate penis pizza. Leonard’s response was the same thing you or I would say.
“Oh nah,” he says. [Skip to the 16:49 mark of the video below.] “That’s out. That’s out for me, bro.”
Here’s the thing, though. The pizza itself — minus the, uh, protein — actually looks pretty good. Aside from a glaring need for a little more tomato sauce, and the order of operations (sauce, then cheese, then toppings; not sauce, then toppings, then cheese), this is some halfway solid pizza-making technique here.
Where this whole thing takes a hard left is… the penis. Apparently, Ibaka says, it’s beef penis, which is a joke in itself. I couldn’t even imagine trying to cook this. I’m having enough difficulty writing about it. It doesn’t even look appetizing. My man just seasons it with salt and boils it… Like, what?
Leonard tries a couple different ways to get out of this. He says he’s vegetarian and/or vegan.
“I can’t kill cows,” he jokes. “I’m not with that.”
“I don’t think I’m hungry anymore, bro,” he continues later.
This exchange is hilarious. Leonard says the actually pizza tastes good, but the protein itself wasn’t… tender.
“It wasn’t tender. Not at all,” he says.
Ibaka’s response: “It’s a penis. What were you expecting?”
Here’s the entire episode, and it’s not just the pizza. The meal comes at the end of a pretty insightful interview which (almost) includes Kawhi’s celebrity crush, what he thinks about the city of Toronto and his answer to Ibaka’s question about unrestricted free agency. Hint: Leonard doesn’t know what he wants to do yet.
The only thing both Leonard and Ibaka know is that neither of them will be eating beef penis pizza ever again.
Oh nah. That’s out, bro.