The 6 stages of Liverpool grief

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Attempting to cope with Liverpool’s inevitable title win.

1. Confidence

“And did none of ye see it before?” cried Guardiola, hailing the perched men all around him.

“I saw him almost that same instant, sir, that Captain Guardiola did, and I cried out,” said Solskjaer.

“Not the same instant; not the same- no, the doubloon is mine, Fate reserved the doubloon for me. I only; none of ye could have raised the White Whale first. There she blows!- there she blows!- there she blows! There again!- there again!” he cried, in long-drawn, lingering, methodic tones, attuned to the gradual prolongings of the whale’s visible jets. “He’s going to sound! In stunsails! Down top-gallant-sails! Stand by three boats. Mr. Pochettino, remember, stay on board, and keep the ship. Helm there! Luff, luff a point! So; steady, man, steady! There go flukes! No, no; only black water! All ready the boats there? Stand by, stand by! Lower me, Mr. Pochettino; lower, lower,- quick, quicker!” and he slid through the air to the deck.

— from Moby-Dick (Herman Melville)

1194763783.jpg - The 6 stages of Liverpool griefMatthew Ashton – AMA/Getty Images

2. Denial

GUARDIOLA

In soothing them we nourish ’gainst our Senate
The cockle of rebellion, insolence, sedition,
Which we ourselves have ploughed for, sowed, and scattered,
By mingling them with us, the honoured number,
Who lack not virtue, no, nor power, but that
Which they have given to beggars.

FARKE

Well, no more.

NUNO

No more words, we beseech you.

GUARDIOLA

How, no more?
As for my country I have shed my blood,
Not fearing outward force, so shall my lungs
Coin words till their decay against those measles
Which we disdain should tetter us, yet sought
The very way to catch them.

SOLSKJAER

You speak o’ th’ people as if you were a god,
To punish, not a man of their infirmity.

— from Coriolanus (William Shakespeare)

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3. Anger

One is in the middle of a match when some people butts in and tries to show that they are the only good football team in the room. Such a group is hateful, and so, indeed, is anyone, child or adult, who tries to push himself forward.

Some people have called at one’s stadium. One makes a great fuss of them and gives them a warm reception and many points. The visitors become accustomed to this treatment and start to come regularly, forcing their way into one’s inner rooms and scattering one’s furnishings and possessions. Hateful!

Sometimes one greatly dislikes a football team for no particular reason — and then that team goes and does something hateful.

from The Pillow Book (Sei Shōnagon)

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4. Bargaining

From time to time
I play my 4-3-3

clear wind, bright moon
I am this scene, I have
no separate form

sometimes a man can laugh off
questions of winning a match
and drift through life’s distress
like duckweed

when I finish drinking
I’ll fall asleep
— any objections? —

and though I have ears I won’t hear
the troubles of this world

the river wind will be peaceful
sun will be high, I’ll sleep on
and wake up still a bit drunk
feeling the wine like an extra pillow

from Red Water Pepper Flowers (Qin Guan)

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5. Depression

Why is this age worse than earlier ages?
In a stupor of grief and dread
have we not fingered the foulest wounds
and left them unhealed by our hands?
In the west the falling light still glows,
and the clustered housetops glitter in the sun,
but here Robertson already chalks the box with crosses,
and calling Firmino, and the shots are flying in.

— from Why Is This Age Worse…? (Anna Akhmatova)

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6. Acceptance

He gazed up at the smiling face. Four years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden by the camera’s dark, ill-seeing eye. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Jurgen Klopp.

— from Nineteen Eighty-Four (George Orwell)

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